So yeah, I was told I was being laid off.
The thing (among many) I don’t understand is why they picked me and not another coworker who is fairly new and does the exact same job as me. I mean, they could’ve picked less senior people from our department anyway, our jobs are fairly similar.
I was told it wasn’t because of my performance, so I don’t understand. I’ve been with the company for almost 9 years, so it’s been pretty devastating on my mental health. It’s kinda eating me alive cause I don’t understand the reasons, I think I haven’t been the best performer for the past year or so cause I was often tired and took breaks when I could and just did what I had to and not much special stuff on top, but my work was always done. However I did take on some additional tasks despite everything. Was it cause my manager didn’t give me the best rating in the last year (I always had better ratings before)? Again, apparently it’s not cause of my performance, so why? I’m much more experienced than some of the other people in my department.
Not to mention that this happened at a very bad time, just three days before I unexpectedly got diagnosed with having a brain tumour and had to have emergency surgery.