For the first time in a looooong while, I have a job I find meaningful. There's always been a revenue stream until about a year ago, when a variety of personal issues came up and I had to take time off. I am teaching at a local college and feel so genuinely honored to be assisting these valiant, hopeful people in their journeys. No, that is not hyperbole. I've never taught before and absolutely love it. That part of my job is great.
HOWEVER I was only offered one section of one class and literally can't afford to live. I got my first paycheck a few weeks ago and after paying about 40% of my bills, it was gone. I tried to pay for parking on campus a week later and didn't even have enough for that. I had to teach a class in 20 minutes, so I hedged my bets and hoped they didn't enforce the parking too stringently. They do, as it turns out, and I got a ticket that I can't afford to pay. My fault, but still a sucky feeling.
I was even worse off for my next class, so I scrounged together $5 for parking, which still wouldn't have been enough, and set off for campus praying that I had enough gas to get me there and back. I didn't have enough (I literally only drive my car for work), so I used the $5 for gas and the needle didn't even move. I parked off-campus and walked a distance to get to class. On the way home, I had to use every coping mechanism at my disposal not to have panic attack about the possibility of running out of gas on the highway. You'll be pleased to know that I made it home, albeit on E, and that the nearest gas station is only a mile (downhill!) from my house and I can probably make it when my next insufficient paycheck debits. Unfortunately, that won't happen until late next week so your guess is as good as mine how I'll figure it out on Tuesday!
It was a dream of mine to teach a class in my concentration, but the fact that the most stressful part of my job is literally affording to be on campus is scary, humiliating and demoralizing.