Hello all, first-time poster here from western Europe. This will be a pretty long post but I'll appreciate it if anyone could take some time to read through it, looking for thoughts and experiences. I'm currently in college, doing my internship, and been dealing with some mental health challenges in the meantime… as well as a lot of struggles with school. After multiple gap years in which I explored and developed myself in various ways, I decided to go to college… but this was right before the pandemic (really fell behind in school and things just went to #### during that time) and it's been a bumpy ride. However, despite facing motivation and delay issues, having to redo semesters a few times, I've persevered and made it to the internship stage.
My background is creative, with interests in storytelling, music, and drawing. I hesitated to attend art school due to job market concerns and wanted a flexible, work-from-home lifestyle. Coding has been tough, impacting my mental health, and I struggle to balance it with my creative projects.
I even explored the possibility of ADHD but didn't receive a diagnosis. I did receive an OCD diagnosis prior to that, however, and I suspect that's another source of potential ADHD-like issues and am trying to deal with that. Maintaining a routine is a challenge, and I easily get bored. (Even during my gap years I cycled between various different projects). Working on that, but it takes a ton of effort. I am pursuing an associate's degree in software development, but I often wish for a more creative path, like being an art director, or working on the art of video games, or creating animations, music production, name it. I'm torn between concerns about job prospects and the fear that any job will be a daily grind. I'm determined to complete my degree (I'm 26 so I kind of have to have something ASAP, plus it will at least open up other doors, despite it being difficult and stressful and whatnot to get through), but I'm feeling lost about my future.
During my internship, I'm only productive for a couple of hours a day, it's hard to muster much else. Office days are challenging, while WFH days are more manageable but anxiety-inducing (and often times end up putting off work for as long as possible). I'm considering shifting to UI/UX for remote work or pursuing even more creative avenues like visual arts, design, or game design. However, requirements, experience, and pay concerns linger, it feels like for every field you gotta have several months of schooling and analysis paralysis has been a problem.
Coming from a lower-income family, the economic and housing outlook seems grim. My true talent lies in creative and artistic pursuits, and I'm eager to find a way to leverage it, and I've also been open to figuring out other potentially good paths for me (thought of sales, but not sure about that, and analytics is just a lot of additional thinking… might work for me but I'd also like a job where it's easy for me to stay on top of things and be able to relax about it outside of work hours). I initially thought coding and web development could incorporate creativity, or so I rationalized to myself as one of the reasons to keep pushing on, but they're too detail-oriented and routine-driven for me. I also loathe the micro-managing that goes on, and freedom is a huge desire of mine.