This will get a little long so I’m sorry. I’ll try to condense as much of what happened. I’m honestly just venting because there’s really no easy way to fix this, and I’m not exactly in the best headspace at all. Also I work in healthcare but in a niche field, I am not a nurse, so job opportunities are not as abundant as it might seem for other healthcare professions.
I would not wish what happened to me on my worst enemy. I /was/ planning on telling someone to get the manager of this job if I could transfer/apply within (there’s a workaround in trying to apply within the healthcare system, I was going to get help being transferred, I was told by recruitment to initiate this a few days ago. Got fired before I got the chance to make the phone call). Me and my manager were already off on the wrong foot, mostly because she has a HUGE favoritism problem. She’s been very wishy-washy on the things we agreed upon during interview. I know, I’m a fool, I should’ve gotten those things in writing, that’s on me. She’s also very two-faced and seemed very nice to me at first and still towards the end she tried to act as nice as can be. I hate how blind-sided I was by her “kindness.” Basically for the past 2 months it came to my realization that not only was I not going to get the agreed amount of hours I was going to get on the shift I was hired for (3rd shift), I should’ve made my plans, put in my notice, ANYTHING, before this got any worse. After discovering the 2 people she tasked to train me on day shift were her best friends, and they were friends with a toxic supervisor from the previous facility I worked at, that should’ve been my signal to get out. I wish I did I wish I did anything vs what actually happened to me. She kept telling me on multiple occasions “oh yeah you should be fine you’re PRN (per diem) just let me know your off days and I’ll put you on the schedule. I’ll accommodate you no problem! :)”
Honestly, she was doing that. She even approved a vacation that I already had booked prior to getting hired. She was holding up to that statement. Up until this month. At the end, I had to have a Monday off, I texted her on 2 occasions over the weekend about that since she re-created a new schedule, blind-sided me, told me that I was never going to be sent to my hired shift until my trainers (her friends) stopped giving her “negative feedback” (lies). (Other people in the department that aren’t her favorite expressed to me that my training was going fine, honestly they thought I shouldn’t even have been training as long as I was on days with the experience I had.) Anyways that’s when it solidified I was going to be on days indefinitely. Honestly though, I don’t think she ever liked me in the first place.
Over that weekend, she did reply to me, Sunday night, saying “ok great thank you! Got it. Have a great weekend!” So here I am thinking come Monday, oh right I should be fine. Here she comes calling me Monday, telling me that Monday counts as a point, and she’s letting me go for points. So this post is a lie, she has all the reason to let me go. She’s in a position of power and she talked to one of her FRIENDS from HR. To preface this, I have worked with this healthcare system before, I actually think it’s great, this department is just a nightmare I wish I never applied to.
I condensed a lot of what happened in the past 2 months, so honestly it probably sounds like it’s still my fault and I’m sorry, I’m not the best writer and I’m really not in the best state of mind right now. I thought my training was going fine, I thought she had my back as she expressed to me many times over the past 2 months, I was working just fine training-wise, like any of us would during an orientation. Now I’m out of a job at a healthcare system i actually like and I’m scared I’m not even gonna be able to come back. It’s a huge system with multiple facilities in my town and I just have been breaking down constantly because that’s a lot of jobs I can’t apply to. When she gave me the phone call she tried her fake nice sounding voice on the phone, as I’m sobbing to her asking her what the hell went wrong, she’s putting me out on the streets. She could honestly care less. She told me she’d put me down as rehireable. I’m scared she may be lying to me as well like she has in the past. I’m honestly fucking terrified. I’ve been constantly calling a few company recruiters I know cause honestly they’re really good and they’ve helped me out in the past, but I’m basically a sitting duck cause they’re waiting to see what I’ll be processed in the system as. They told me if I’m not put down as rehireable I’m going to have to have a meeting with HR, and I’m honestly going to have a fucking panic attack because this is all so fucking exhausting.
My only saving grace is that I have a LOT of references from this healthcare system (because I worked in it in the past) and another one I’ve worked in. Those co-workers i still have decent contact with them and they could vouch for me, my work ethic and every positive experience I’ve had at this system except for this facility. Whether or not HR is going to believe me or take their word for it I don’t know I feel like killing myself honestly because I know HR is not our friends. This town does not have a lot of good jobs and this system is really big, so I really have not been in the best headspace lately if I’m not processed as rehireable. They told me if I’m down as rehireable I’ll be able to apply again easy. Hopefully she didn’t lie to me…… I’ve been looking for other jobs but honestly it’s just looking very bleak for me. Especially as someone with the qualifications for this job, to give it up because of this bullshit is just making me wanna off myself.
The time is ticking, I don’t know if I’ll make my rent and bills this month. I don’t wanna give up going to school because I’ve been wanting to do BETTER for myself especially getting out of this job anyway. Now I need to focus on job hunting and getting food on the table and put everything on hold because of this and I’m just really on the edge.
(Yes I’m looking at travel assignments for my job, the problem is the market’s saturated, rates are shit, jobs are on hold or being filled before anyone can even have a chance, and I’m too broke to just go across the country for a California contract. Which seems to be the only decent high-paying ones available. Again, I am not a nurse, and so travel contracts are not exactly as plentiful. They’re still good don’t get me wrong, but landing that contract is not exactly easy.)
All in all, I just feel absolutely fucked. This shit is fucking hopeless.