I have a history with an ED and I'm slightly chubby. I really don't like eating in front of other people because I always feel embarrassed and ashamed. I try to get lunch as early as possible to avoid coworkers or eat at my desk when I can. It's always something like “Wow someone's hungry!” “You're gonna eat all that?” “That's a big lunch” “I wish I could eat as much as you do” “That's a lot of food!” and they always laugh and I can't help but feel they are laughing at me. I've started lying “oh I didn't eat breakfast” “my mum made the lunchbox” “I don't have time for dinner so needed a big lunch” etc. Maybe I'm too sensitive but I just never comment on what someones eating unless it's like “wow that smells so good!” etc.
I am recovering from my ED and have been feeling good lately, eating healthier, more regularly, exercising a normal amount, but these comments make me feel so horrible. I've thought about taking lunch an hour later but I'm already starving an hour before lunch, which I barely want to admit because I feel embarrassed just by the fact that I feel hungry…
I can already feel myself starting to hate my body again, I was just starting to accept it.