Can i complain about my line manager? Will I actually get an outcome?
Hi everyone.
I think my line manager/team leader is bullying me and I have had enough. But I don’t know if I’m overreacting so I need some more opinions.
I work in the healthcare sector in the U.K. – funny because I thought that’s where mental health and physical health would matter the most but clearly not to the people I work with.
I’ve been working at my current workplace for nearly 2 months now. But I feel like I am being so nitpicked by my current line manager. I must also point out although maybe not relevant that I am an ethnic minority in my workplace. I was late once due to traffic (I catch the bus – a bus that only comes once every 2 hours from my town) so it takes me an hour to get to the town where my workplace is. I was 7 mins late to my work place that once. Btw for my job I don’t need to swipe in or swipe out, you work according to your schedule – and in my diary I had nothing on till 9 so me coming at 8:07 was not effecting my performance in any way. I just feel like this line manager of mine just wants to nitpick and find any excuse to tell me off as he’s very new to having this sort of power of authority. That’s the first example that’s happened. The second example, i asked him if it’s possible for me to have more days in the week to work from home ( I currently only have Friday as work from home) OR be moved to the closer office that is very close to my house if they really need me to come in (bc I’m a newbie) instead of travelling 2hours for 4 days a week – and this is because I am also still a newish mum. I explained to him that my child is still an infant (my baby is 9months old) and I just feel like it would help me so much to have that request accepted. He said he will look into it but never agreed to it. What annoys me is that it’s easily a request that could be done – as many in my position are given working options that suit them.
Example 3 – Im doing my job very well and I have gotten so many positive feedback from other colleagues – but not one single positive feedback from my line manager. Which is fine but it just makes me think he really has it against me for some reason?
One of my colleagues even told me to be careful as she thinks he really does not like me and it seems that he is nitpicking on everything I do and waiting for me to slip up. This was her observation. Now Idk what to think , this has sealed what I’ve been feeling. As I initially thought it might be in my head.
Now latest example, I’ve been diagnosed recently with IBD unfortunately, so more trips to the loo. and last Thursday I was late to our teams catch up meeting that was at 9. I messaged him saying I was going to be a few mins late – as I had something personal going on (I was too embarassed to mention my diagnosis at this point because I just am not comfortable with this man at all). He proceeded to berate me and say I’m always late. I said to him I’ve only been late twice since I’ve started working? And that I had a good excuse for both occasions. He replies back saying I am “arguing back instead of taking his feeedback on board” I was like ????? I said to him I am defending myself because I don’t think the way you’ve been treating me is fair. He then says he’s going to put the request I told him about on hold bc he thinks I’m underperforming? At that point I just stayed quiet and thought to myself I’m never going to win here. I then told him I was recently diagnosed with IBD and it’s affecting me a lot mentally and physically. He was like “what’s that” and then Googled it and said it out loud in such a monotone voice. “Irritable bowel disease” and he literally showed me no empathy or nothing?
Is this normal?
What should’ve been my dream job is now a place I dread going to. I dread going to work and I feel so on edge everytime I am there. All weekend I’ve been crying and not knowing what to do. I even had thoughts of just quitting and staying at home caring for my baby instead of going aomewhere where they are not willing to understand or make any sort of adjustment because my line manager has it in for me for some reason.
Please advice on what can I do? Is quitting my only option?
I have spoken to the cultural and diversity lead in our workplace for advice but she said to me that perhaps I’m just feeling really emotional recently and just taking things the wrong way. But I’ve been employed before in the same sector and I’ve never been made to feel like this?
She also said it’s unfortunately just the way the U.K. hierarchy employment scene works – “UK work politics where you have to play the game and just try to get on his good books until he likes you” just like the other newbies that have started they have to suck up to the manager. But I don’t understand why we need to do that? Surely that’s not a normal thing? Is there nothing I can do? I feel like after speaking to her that no one will listen to me. Even the higher up managers are buddies with my line manager so I feel like it’s a case of his word against mine. It’s just never going to end up with the result I want. The result that I want is to have a different manager – I cannot deal with this man anymore. I’ve had enough.
Please if you were in my shoes what would you do.
Thank you