So I don't quite want to name and shame exactly, but I started a new job at a different type of store with one of the most popular running and sports shoes in America. It lasted one week and two days.
I should also preface this by saying I'm autistic and ADHD. I live with my parents, and we just moved this past week into a new home but we're still working to clear out our apartment. Like this has been an on-going thing for the past one and a half weeks. It's rough as hell but I've been genuinely trying to balance everything, but being autistic…it's hard as hell.
So I started at a franchise version of this store. Worked there for 2 years 2 months. Loved working there, except for some issues (one of which I posted about a year ago). Otherwise, I loved it and it got me through school. But I had to move over an hour away, so I decided, “well while I'm trying to get into the gov't, I'm going to apply for a few things up here” and applied to the outlet version of this store. I thought: why not? I already know the shoes so let's try!
Got a phone screening call the day after I put in my application. Probably should've been weary given how fast I got called, but I didn't think on it. They also asked if I was interested in a management position, and I wanted to give it a shot so I said sure. Then the interview came. I thought I did great, they liked me, they said if I wanted, I could be trained to be a temporary team lead. Sure why not. Few days later, they said if I was still interested, they'd want to hire me. Cool! Started last Monday. Thought it went well. Thought, this could work for a bit.
Then Saturday came and…it was a lot. I knew they brought in about $2 mil a year, but I didn't know I wouldn't be able to handle that many people at once. I had to run into the back and collect myself. I was crying. It was overwhelming. And the assistant manager asked if I was okay and asked me to the back. She tried to help calm me down and talk to me and I had calmed down some thankfully and forced myself to handle the rest of the shift.
When I got home, for the first time ever (mind you, I'm 24 y/o), I told everyone to leave me alone for a bit and I crawled into my bed and sat in silence for an hour. I was tired and overwhelmed.
The next day, I admitted to that manager that I needed to back away from the temporary team lead position. She was cool with it and she rearranged the schedule to accommodate that and me and another person switching. I thought everything was alright. But I sensed something off from the manager (the one who hired me) when I went in yesterday (the first time since Saturday morning I'd seen her). But she wasn't there long enough for me to figure out why. (I assumed like maybe she wasn't thrilled about having to quickly train someone else for the role, as next week she has to leave town for an event she had to do for the company). I swear she was talking about me yesterday too, but I can't be sure?
But then today, I started the day with a team lead manager and…I had a mental breakdown. Everything from the past few weeks had suddenly piled on me, but I think it was triggered by being asked to take my phone into the back (even though I knew it was a reasonable request). But still, I guess that one minor thing set me off and my mental health just snowballed into…ugh. I had a breakdown, and I had to step into the back again so I could cry (I'm surprised no one heard me??? I wasn't quiet lol, and the front of the store isn't completely walled off from the front at the top so you can hear some stuff that happens in the back).
Well he told the manager about it when she came in. He was the only other one in the store and I had to deal with a mental breakdown. And I felt bad honestly but apparently it was too much because I later got pulled into the back by the manager and asked if everything was okay. We talked, I said I'm stressed with everything. My mental health ain't great right now, but I'm trying. She explained that the situation earlier today wasn't acceptable (well, not those words) because we're an outlet, we have a lot of people coming into the store, and if I'm going to the back to deal with a crisis when there's one other person in the store, you know like something serious could've happened. He couldn't go into the back and check the back stock for customers, losing out on sales, could only help a person at a time, etc.
Then also she commented about my customer services skills being bad which I swore in the interview were great and that was one of the reasons they hired me. My skills are great! I've worked customer service for five-ish years, I know they're good. But I guess they've been suffering the past week because of all the stress and my mental health taking a toll. So obvs that's not a good look but I was trying my damn best alright? I tried to emphasize that but…it wasn't getting across. Something something gotta learn how to compartmentalize, leave home issues at home, etc.
Finally towards the end she is like, “Well can you assure me that this won't happen again? You can't keep doing this?” And I was thinking, “How the fuck can I assure that?” And I realize welp. I'm backed into a corner, I'm fucked no matter what I say. So at that point I just go, “Well, I can't promise that and I understand that it's a problem.” And I resigned then and there.
What bugs me the most is. This company apparently prides itself on like helping its employees get mental help. There are flyers everywhere in the back like signs of depression, reach out to your employees/coworkers, a site you can go to for help, etc etc. But heaven forbid you have a mental breakdown at work. Basically keep your mental breakdowns at home, come to work and pretend you're a robot and nothing is wrong with you.
I could complain about it to HR or something, but I feel like I'd get dismissed bc it's a mall and outlet. Not that I want to work for them anymore after this anyway. I have a better job lined up next month. But it does make me miss my old job a lot. If I got sick or was having a mental breakdown, even tho I had some issues w my manager he'd be understanding and let me go home without problem. Wouldn't be paid for it bc I didn't have those bennies, but at least I wouldn't have been judged. (also just to note: as it was a franchise store, it's vastly different. I don't think they had access to all of the mental health stuff the corporate stores do. Our store was just small enough and had understanding managers and coworkers).
So anyway, that is the story of how I got cornered into quitting a job because I was having too many mental breakdowns. (^: