I understand that this is probably obvious to many people in this thread, but we all had to learn this now very apparent lesson somehow. I want to share my recent awakening story with others to hopefully help them avoid falling into the trap of becoming or to get out of being a corporate simp, which was me up until very recently. As somebody who was also climbing the ladder quickly, getting frequent raises, and playing the game well I want to shine a light on just how unhappy and unfulfilling the corporate game is.
For the last 7-8 years I have been working in Corporate America in medium and large-sized companies. Over these years I have gone from making $19 an hour to $140,000 annually due to being promoted/switching jobs a few times. I have been with my current company for 3-years.
Since I have started with this company, I have been promoted once.
I have always been the first person to the office and one of the last ones to leave. I worked weekends and would open my computer back up when I would get home from a 10 hour day at the office and work more. I have never called out sick and I have hardly used a bit of my PTO.
I have spent time cozying up to the executives at the office and fueling their egos; which, by the way, is more important than performance/hard work (for anyone who still wants to get promoted and play this game.)
With all that said, it seems like on the surface my hard work and dedication has paid-off. I got what I wanted; the promotions and the increased salary.
Well, there is always what lies underneath the surface, and I think this is true for many people in every level of an organization from the bottom up.
During this time, I sacrificed so much of my time and other areas of my life to this company.
I have to travel frequently, which means a lot of time on the road away from my wife and other loved ones. The travel is also hard on my body and mental well-being, as it is for many others who travel frequently for work.
The job that I am in is a high-pressure job with the executives constantly increasing and placing this pressure on you. To keep your job and to keep the checks coming, you must perform.
I put this company and work before everything in my life, which was my own decision, but it is what is required to climb the ladder and get higher paying jobs or even keep the one you have.
I look back now and I was chronically stressed, irritable, depressed, and anxious. I am photos of myself just a few months back and I have dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep.
I started using marijuana every single night 3 years ago because of the stress induced insomnia, which looking back just made my sleep less restful and quality. I abused caffeine, having about 500+ mg daily and having my last cup of coffee at 3-4 in the afternoon to help fight the vicious cycle of poor sleep and stress, which obviously made me more stressed an anxious. If I ever took my foot off the gas pedal, somebody would pass me up or the company would replace me.
When I would get home from work, I was so burnt out, I could hardly talk to my wife who wanted nothing more than to talk to me. I always did my best to exercise, but would fall short often or not get the quality of workout that I wanted.
I gave my all to this company. Even a few months ago, I finally had planned to take a long weekend and go see my brother who I had not seen in a year for a few days. The COO of the company called me a few days before and asked me to cancel the trip and go across the country for 10 days because it would “be good for both of OUR careers.” So I cancelled the trip and left my pregnant wife at home and went on the trip.
With all that said, the executives and all the “important” people loved me! I was definitely part of the “in-crowd.”
Early of July this year I hit my wall and my breaking point. I looked at myself in the mirror after being stressed out about work and said “I can't do this anymore.” I no longer wanted to be promoted, I did not want to sacrifice so much of my time and health to this or any other company anymore. I decided I needed to make a change and take care of myself and family first. I did not quit my job, I just decided to work a standard 8 hour day, take time to exercise, spend time with my wife, not work weekends, and not open my computer when I got home from work. I continued to do my job well, but I did not give the effort I was giving before. Everything changed, the executives who used to love me stopped talking to me, and I was treated entirely differently. It was like a kid in high school that was kicked out of the popular group.
About a month later that's when things really opened my eyes and I really changed my views. My wife is due with our first child very soon and I decided that I would prioritize my family and use the time off to not think about work, so I made it known that I would be taking the full 12-weeks of paternity leave allowed to me under FMLA. The COO and executive team made it known they were not happy and made comments about me behind my back to my colleagues and to my direct supervisor about how unhappy and ridiculous it was that I would take 12-weeks off. If I was being treated differently than before, it was really happening now.
I now saw that because I was not giving my soul to them and I was no longer helping them look good or advance their careers, I was dead to them. Even after I gave years of my life and time to them, they turned on me in an instant. When I was burning myself out for them and giving my limited time to them, they loved me. My eyes were opened and I decided that I would more than likely not be returning to work for them after my paternity leave was over.
In the last month, the stress has melted off of me, I quit marijuana, I have lost weight, I sleep great, and I only drink a single cup of coffee in the morning. My anxiety, depression, and irritability has vanished seemingly overnight.
I spend my time relaxing with my wife and doing things I enjoy. I am happier and healthier now.
I am going to do work in the future that might not pay as much, but simply meets my needs and a little leftover. I am going to do work that is fulfilling and feeds my soul.
I have realized that your happiness does not always go up as your salary goes up, in fact after a certain point it started going down.
I understand being poor and not being able to provide for yourself is obviously more stressful than what I went through, but I think there is a happy medium or equilibrium for us all to find.
Living simply and staying out of debt lets you be free and choose an occupation or work that might not pay as much, but you will ultimately be more fulfilled in the end.