Trigger warning:
I took a day off yesterday because I felt like if I went in, that day would be my last day alive.
I’m back in, and I’m feeling the same way.
Nothing’s wrong with my job and the people are nice. It’s just that when I’m there, I feel my life draining away. I have no reason to live aside from working, sleeping, eating, repeat.
When I get into my own head like this, I try to think of my family and girlfriend. After that, I’m usually able to snap out it it. But it gets harder and harder to cope and I’m ready to just check out.
Working a job in general makes me feel this way and I’m not sure if I’m even meant for this world.
I can see the comments saying “you don’t have it that bad, get over yourself.” Believe me, I’ve tried, and I feel guilty that I can’t do what so many other people are able to tolerate. This guilt is apart of why I feel the way I do, and it’s painful to keep existing like this.