Long time lurker, first time poster.
29, Male, chronically depressed since childhood.
Struggled through covid years but kept it together. Got married and bought a house. A year later I'm losing my grip on sanity. The world is fucked and all institutions in America are corrupt.
Stress of trying to work through it was too much. Been with the company for nearly 6 years now. Had a mental break down in my bosses office and asked for help. They gave me some phone numbers to call and try to find a therapist. No clinics in my area taking new patients and I'm very skeptical of apps and online therapy. Put on a waiting list and still no word from anyone a week later. My employer said they'd support me in getting help but if the stress of the job is too much they'd support me while I look for a new job. I'm terrified I won't be able to find another job relevant to the skills I spent so long learning there, or that will pay a comparable wage. My whole future is at risk because I feel so alone and helpless. If i don't get back to work I'll lose access to the healthcare i desperately need; but my depression is preventing me from performing my job well. What do I do? I just want to be able to live and make a living that doesn't make me miserable.