Just started a new job back at an old employer I worked for until 2021 this week and realizing I've made a terrible mistake. I haven't been able to find true peace with any job since my first job out of my masters program in 2015/2016. In 2017, I got laid off but then was “promoted” to their HQ in Chicago, which was an amazing opportunity at that point in my career but turned out to be one of the worst mistakes of my life. I moved 3,000 miles by myself for that job to be abused daily to the point where I almost died multiple times due to both my destroyed mental and physical health.
I moved home after a year and spent 10 months in 2018 unemployed and living with my parents. I finally found a job way below my skills/experience that I accepted out of desperation but it was honestly nice after everything I'd been through. I was able to move up pretty quickly over 2.5 years but everyone in my department quit so I was kind of able to do whatever I wanted. COVID hit and there was nowhere to move up to careerwise unless I wanted to move to … Oklahoma.
I got a job making significantly more but within two weeks I saw that place was a disaster so I jumped ship for another offer I had on the table. I was at the next place for 1.5 years and they had great benefits, 2 WFH days/week, amazing team and boss, etc. but they reorganized shortly after and put me in a position I never wanted or thought I'd like so I left for another opportunity for a tech startup. I was just there for 6 months.
The environment was a total disaster, lots of drama and backstabbing with my own team, poor leadership, etc I was able to come and go as I please, $125k salary, great benefits, unlimited PTO, remote days or option to work remote freely, etc. I couldn't do the politics and being a startup put so much uncertainty behind if I'd even have a job in 6 months. Anyway, the employer from 2021 reached out with an opportunity so I left after 6 months, took a $20k pay cut, and went back to working for them in another department thinking maybe I need to get out my industry for a bit (marketing). After a week I'm realizing it's an hour commute, dead silent, butt in your chair until exactly 5 PM, jeans only Friday, no remote work, bogged down in bureaucracy kind of position and I (again) immediately want to yeet myself out a window. My team SUCKED at the last place but the culture and friends I had with other teams was great. This place literally has no people or culture and is dead silent.
The reason why I'm asking here is because I honestly hate corporate and everything that is our current job culture so I genuinely don't think 'happiness' is in the cards for me at any 9-5 at this point but I cant want to cry on my drive to work every day. Ill never understand the point of it all. A couple switches was fine but the problem is definitely starting to look like me. It's hard to explain what having a job and boss that literally almost cost you your life does to burn someone out long term. Should I keep looking? What do you all of you want to consider yourselves satisfied in order to survive this BS?