So I left a job a few months ago and have been struggling to find a new job since. I thought little of it at the time but I recently learned that a new manager at my wife's place of work is married to that manager and has been talking about what he has said to her about me and revealed that he has been spreading lies to me at least to her regarding my performance and punctuality at my former workplace. Right now I'm using a friend, who happens to be a manager that is unaffiliated with the store or any parties involved besides myself, to confirm whether or not he is telling potential employers these lies as well.
However given that this isn't a real job offer that would be denied as a result of this I'm not sure what I can do to prove damages for a defamation suit against this former boss. I don't know if other bosses I have made applications to would be willing to disclose what he has said to them, particularly with him not a reference but as employment history, or how I could convince them to divulge this if he did indeed lie about my time there. Any advice on how I should proceed should I discover through my friend (who will be recording the exchange for me) that he is in fact lying about me to potential employers?
New York is my state for the record.