I start my new job Monday and got a text from my supervisor that was like “hey give me a call at < time>” So I start spiraling over its not really happening and this call will be him saying “whoops we made a mistake we are rescinding the offer sorry!” (This actually happened to me once before) and I quickly start writing all the things I'm grateful for in my life so I don't kill myself after the phone call. I'm in tears when I call my supervisor.
The call was just him confirming my start time.
This job search was brutal. I feel like I got so close so many times and it always ended in disappointment. I feel like I have PTSD and its inhibiting my ability to feel happy and excited. Why do we put so much of our self worth into being employed? Will this feeling of dread ever go away?