I feel like a spoiled “first world problemer” when I say this, but farm work was easier than the office job I do now and easier than the retail job I used to do.
The only two times I enjoyed my life and work were the years I worked on my Uncle’s farm and the months I did film work with a studio in the inner city. That film job did not last. It was an extremely abusive environment where I never even got all my paychecks I was owed, so I’m hesitant to go back. But the farm job… I miss it every fucking day.
It was hard work, but it made sense. You get up with the sun. You have a set amount of daily chores to do, that you can easily get done in the day. Then a larger project that you work on over the course of the month. You had a whole community of people working with you. It felt fulfilling, and real.
I don’t think I could ever go back to farm work though. Homesteading is a rich person’s fantasy. It could only work if I somehow joined a commune or something. And industrial farm work is probably nothing like what I experienced growing up. I have no idea what their benefits are or what their vacation time would look like. My uncle had vacation time. Usually in the winter and the peak of summer. There was just less to do, so why make us stay all day?
I’m just musing here, avoiding actually doing my programming work. My brain is fried. I hate this life so much. I hate this meaningless, vapid work.