Just the title and a rant.
Cried a bunch in therapy. I know I naturally have a more volatile reaction to most things (CPTSD) but it’s just so tiring and frustrating when everyone is in this corporate mindset that they can’t show if something gets to them. I’ve always had at least one person to connect with and feel safe bitching to but I just don’t here. I’ve gotten myself in a high level team and everyone is a master at fitting in with the system. They don’t take sick days, They don’t need therapy, they’re not bothered by working late or always being on call or being wildly mismanaged. I sent my manager a clear list of days I wanted off and it took 3 days of back and forth for her to understand what I was asking. I can’t tell if she’s genuinely that stupid or acted like the request was confusing to make me question myself. To be clear this is my first PTO request of the year that’s not for a medical appointment. I’m the only person bothered by the dogs parking, loud music, and studio lights going off so I got accommodations to work remote (I’m involved in the backend of e-commerce photography, I don’t need to be in The office or studio, they constantly play club music from the early 2000s and there’s always 2-5 dogs). It pissed my manager off. She called it unfair and HR was no help. People will bitch behind each others backs but never do anything or be honest about their grievances while I get company emails about the value of communication and honesty. Why would I communicate when I’ve seen my own manager be shut down for voicing concerns? I just hate this corporate culture in America. Everyone has to be a husk that can take every injustice and slight with no reaction, has no personal life and no feelings.
I’m just feeling alone and broken and lost but mostly so very tired.