Joined this sub recently. Figured I’d share my story. Wish I still had the text messages and emails. I landed a pretty good job a few years back. Negotiated pay + benefits. Got what I wanted and was happy to start. A few weeks in and I realized that OT was mandatory. Not what I imagined. Wasn’t prepared for 60+ hour work weeks. Plus a 45-60 minute commute to and from depending on traffic. I really was not happy and missed my wife and daughter during the week. Labor intensive job; I’d get home and shower and eat dinner and pass out on the couch before going to bed because I was so beat and then wake up at 4am to start the day again and get out the door before anybody would wake up. Usually my daughter was getting ready for bedtime when I would get home or shortly after.
My daughter wasn’t in school yet at the time and I really wanted to spend more time with her and be at home before she started kindergarten the next year. So I asked for Fridays off… I’d still be working around 50 hours per week and be a full time employee. I’m a musician and I also wanted to gig on Friday nights. I would make close to a full days wage playing music in one night AND I get to be home all day on Fridays AND keep my full time benefits. And then have a full weekend to feel like I’m recovered to start the week? Perfect scenario, besides the fact that I really only wanted to work 40-45 hours per week. Would’ve made me super happy and I would’ve felt good about the job. If he said yes, I might still be working there today.
He was mad that I asked and straight up said no. I told him I have to reconsider some things and the job. A few days later I put in my two weeks, he asked me for three and I said I could do that for him. I appreciated the work and good pay and felt bad knowing it’s a tough position to fill. He asked me what are you going to do? I said, “I’m going to find a part time job and play music so I can spend more time at home with my family and make close to same amount of money or maybe a little less, but do what I love and spend time at home while my kid is still young.” He went on this rant that went something like this “you’re way of thinking is what’s wrong with this country and people like you are ruining this country, people think they don’t have to work anymore”
Sorry buddy, I ain’t you and don’t want to work 75-80 hours per week like you do and your dad did when you were growing up. Probably why you’re so fucked up mentally. I told him my dad worked that much and more when I was growing up and didn’t want to have that same effect on my children. He said “and how would he feel now knowing you don’t want to work after how hard he worked for you?” This guy didn’t know a thing about me or what my dad did or mostly didn’t do for me growing up. I stayed calm and just told him we view things differently and that’s okay. The next morning I emailed him a bunch of online articles about workaholic fathers and absent fathers and the effect it has on children. LOL. I don’t remember if he replied. Worked for about two more weeks after that and I remember my last day vividly.
It was Valentine’s Day. I really wanted to take my wife out to dinner, but I knew I had a long day ahead. I had to drive about two hours away for a job with another dude that started around the same time as me in a lower position. It took us longer than expected on the first job and the boss man was pissed. We had a few other jobs to take care of on the ride back too. He called me screaming at me on the phone if I knew how to use the tools correctly, mind you I was bringing in my own set set of tools for work. Man I was pissed when he said that. I sent a long text a few minutes after the phone call to him and the guy who trained me and told them how I’m not gonna be disrespected and how it should be obvious that I don’t want to waste anybody’s time with this job because I wasn’t in the business of wasting MY OWN FUCKING time. He texted me a few hours later to let him know when we finally finished and were on our way back. Funny enough the other jobs went super smooth and we were about 20 minutes away from the shop when he finally texted me back. A day that was supposed to be 12 hours ended up being like 8. Walked inside, resignation papers on the desk. I signed them immediately. “Thanks for the job, good luck!” Shook hands and walked out the door.
They never really found a long term guy to fill my position because nobody wants to work like that. If he said yes to Fridays off I really might be there still. But now I’m playing music full time. Scary at first, but I finally made it happen this year. Funny enough, I was hired by a country club to play music this past summer and he and his entire family were there for his brother’s birthday party. Full circle 🙂