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Antiwork

Fuck going back to work

I am a doctor who suddenly suffered going blind but now can see in one eye . I get a decent disability payment monthly from private insurance. It's enough to survive but drained all of my retirement and burning through a refinance right now . I am 55 .. It was pretty brutal as I went back to work about 6 years ago when I regained vision in my eye. I was a bit fucked up as blindness reignited all this trauma – abuse – violence / sexual as a kid .. Kind of hit me like a Mac truck. I was happy to be back and did well but was late three times by about 10 minutes . No fuck ups of patient complaints. In fact 99 per her ' excellent rating ' .. I got pulled aside and said that I should go home . That I was…


I am a doctor who suddenly suffered going blind but now can see in one eye . I get a decent disability payment monthly from private insurance. It's enough to survive but drained all of my retirement and burning through a refinance right now . I am 55 ..

It was pretty brutal as I went back to work about 6 years ago when I regained vision in my eye. I was a bit fucked up as blindness reignited all this trauma – abuse – violence / sexual as a kid .. Kind of hit me like a Mac truck. I was happy to be back and did well but was late three times by about 10 minutes . No fuck ups of patient complaints. In fact 99 per her ' excellent rating ' ..

I got pulled aside and said that I should go home . That I was 'off ' .. Even my shrink said I was doing much better and fuck , it was traumatic . I have a feeling they ( hospital) had an ulterior motive of wanting me to go back full time like before but I knew it might send me over the edge with monocular blindness and ptsd .

I have 3 kids in college . Wife is pissed I haven't been applying to places . I get grief everyday and sex is now infrequent ..

She says when I go back to work, it will pick up -sex life . I can't help but feel a bit objectified . But ok, I guess it's anxiety provoking to possibly lose our lifestyle , and probably lost some respect ..

So it seems like damned if I do or damned if I don't . I am good at what I do but medicine in the US is now a business with a bunch of vultures . I would go work for Doctors Without Borders , but have to support a family . So back to hell it is …

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