Well, I graduated with a bachelor’s in computer science and a masters in data science and analytics. Everyone in my family thinks I’m either lazy or a fraud, as I have been out of school since May 2022 and haven’t even gotten my foot in the door.
Throughout my journey, I have learned a whole lot about what it is like to be unemployed.
Nobody cares about you. You’re just a number. Your status in life is irrelevant. You don’t matter. No one wants you to have a well paying job. Unemployed and helpless is where they prefer you. Family members too. They don’t want you to do better than them— so it’s better that you’re unemployed so that you always have to depend on them. Oh yeah, and when you really do need help, they take great joy in reminding you that you’re a piece of shit.
Yeah, I did everything I was told to do. Everything i was supposed to do. I went to school. I worked while in school to pay for housing and food. I did it on my own. My parents never helped me. I always thought of myself as a high achiever, often helping my classmates get through tough courses by sharing my solutions.
What did it amount to?
Nothing. I got two degrees that mean nothing for me. Maybe for someone else. But me? No. There’s something about me that makes me only a candidate to be used and mistreated by people. I’m not allowed to be in the position of a successful person who puts his foot down and demands he get paid for his good work. I’ll prove it. I can do this better than so and so. Just give me a chance. No. No chance for me. Give a job to the friend that used me to cheat his way through college. Give him a job. Not me.
Then my mom. Oh so supportive. “Why don’t you get a job outside your field? Sometimes that what you have to do. You don’t deserve something if you don’t work for it”.
Oh yes. That’s right. What do I know about hard work and working for less than what I’m worth? I’ve only been scrubbing dirty dishes in restaurants all my life while listening to dim witted professors for hours. That’s not something anyone ever saw me do?
No all they see is me depressed and sitting around all day, moaning and complaining about my life.
They know that I am in debt, without a car, sleep on a couch with zero privacy, and I’m dead broke.
They know all of that
What they don’t seem to know is that even dead end jobs have stopped contacting me. I must be blacklisted. I can’t even get a job at Macys.. maybe I’m overqualified af this point.
I have humbled myself. I took a job in masonry for $100 a day. I Hhs ruined my hands, my shoulder and my back for $100 a day. At most in a week I have made $300-$400. This is occasional with no benefits and completely under the table.
So no mom, I don’t sit on my ass waiting for people to give me money.
I wanted to work. Work with what I was promised if I did what I was told to do. So I can keep my promise, but no one else has to?
After sending about 20,000 applications over the course of 1.5 years, having talked to professors, classmates, career counselors, shit… even having Reddit help with my resume.
I am convinced I will never get employed. Not even at McDonald’s.
But hey. Imma try to send an application. This is what I’m worth. I will accept the lowest amount of pay. I will accept $5/hr to scrub toilets. Just let me know what I’m worth since apparently going to school and paying for all the expenses on my own isn’t enough proof that I deserve a job. Use me and pay me for less than what I can afford to live. And yes, to my family, continue to blame me and to put me down as if it’s my fault that no one will hire me. If I’m trying and it’s not enough, what do you expect me to do? Grab a gun and start robbing gas stations?
Be real. Anyway, definitely gonna get this job at McDonald’s. Wish me luck, hope I’m not too ugly to hire!