Sorry for the long rant. But I had a full mental breakdown at work yesterday and I was stressed to my limit.
We were slammed and the other two receptionists (A and N for this post) weren't doing anything. I do most of the speaking/handling payment while it's typical they process paperwork and I read over it with customers. Well, they were doing fuck all, leaving me to do a million different things, deal with clients, answer phones, file and go over paperwork, etc. It was incredibly difficult. I felt I was managing pretty well for one person.
The rudest coworker is N, she and I have been at odds with each other since I started a year ago. We've had meetings with HR, peer mediation like were 6, and now we just coexist. She won't change and I will never appease her.
One client, I forgot to add a copy of something signed and they kindly reminded me. So N goes “that's SUPPOSED to be with the paperwork” under her breath. I ask her to repeat herself. So she turns to me like I'm an idiot and repeats herself. At this point my stress has boiled. I'm explaining myself to N and then my other coworker A, misheard what I said and chimed in. So I snapped on her. Then she yelled at me. (I took it out on the wrong person and apologized.)
My eyes were burning. I go back to the copier and another girl I'm somewhat acquainted with sees the state im in and asked what happened. I mentioned it doesn't matter. And copied the documents, walked back, and handed them to the customer.
I head back to my desk and there's another person about to head my way and I can't stop the tears. I'm wiping my eyes with my sleeve and trying to regulate my breathing because I have a few minutes to try and pull myself together before doing my spiel.
I turn to get my purse and one of the supervisors that just arrived sees my face and goes “go get some air. Please.” I told her I had paperwork to go over and I was met with “fuck the paperwork. Someone else can do it”
Immediately when i heard the door close and I stepped outside, I just started sobbing. Those body shaking sobs. I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from almost wailing. I just sank down on the pavement and just stared at the sky for a few minutes.
I desperately want to leave this job. Really. I do. But im not hearing anything back on applications and I need the money.
My family doesn't understand how bad it's getting so I've been rolling with it. I feel like im losing my mind and I'm just between a rock and a hard place.
Nothing like that has ever happened before.