I (27 F) work retail at a speciality store which is a local small business. I was desperate to get a job right out of college and got to the point where anything was better than nothing.
It’s a toxic workplace, criminally unorganized and poorly managed, a lot of my coworkers just suck, there is no HR, and my boss is completely checked out and really just writes paychecks. I’m pretty sure the business is being used as a tax write-off.
One of my coworkers is this really weird older gay man (this is relevant), he’s in his 60s I think. I get along with him well enough but sometimes he pisses me off.
Another one of my coworkers is an older woman (who is also in her 60s I think but older than him) who only comes in on Sundays.
One Sunday I witnessed him repeatedly throughout the day getting up in her face, grabbing her by the wrists and rambling on about how he’s going to measure her and buy her a ring. She was giggling so I thought at first this was just some inside joke. I still half-heartedly tried to stop him though.
The next Sunday she unexpectedly brought me some really nice fabric samples (which I collect).
This Sunday he did the same thing of grabbing her by the wrists pulling her around and getting up in her face talking about “buying her a ring” but more persistently. This time I realized that she was actually really bothered by it and I had to use my body to physically block stop him from accosting her several times and she seemed incredibly relieved.
A couple days later I confronted my manager and asked her how long this has been going on and she said 12 years and that “If she wanted it to stop she could stop it.” which horrified me. That’s victim blaming, he’s bigger than her, she’s frail. I think he’s convinced that he couldn’t possibly sexually harass a woman because he’s gay.
There is no HR, managers don’t care, and boss is checked out. What the fuck do I do about this???