Why is it that, and what is it within me that feels like a brick wall once I realize that the job im in “ain't hitting it anymore”? I only ask this because this is the second time where work situations and a toxic work environment have gotten in the way of me being able to best preform my duties.
My job is flexible as long as I get my 40 hours in a week, how I do my job is up to me (technically). Essentially I started this job about 2.5 months ago and out of my boss and a team of 4 (including myself) everyone, left but me, boss included. My new boss is the boss from the neighboring department and the reasoning as to why shit has been hitting the fan at this new job is because their grant contract is messed up and the program is not working in comparison to the demographic it was approved to support. My caseload and work expectations have raised but the workload isn't my problem, it's my new boss and the sudden change to a workplace I simply am struggling to function in. I have a pass history of ghosting and impulsively jumping ship from jobs as I see myself just naturally being a leader and an independent person, the moment I get a manager or a workplace that's on my ass all the time and I realize that the only thing this is serving for me is a paycheck I lose all interest and motivation to return to work.
I guess im seeking advice/support on how to move forward this week and beyond until I can find an alternative way to make the income I need. I don't want to impulsively quit but Im not sure how to deal with myself not even wanting to get up off the couch to go in. My anxiety about this is through the roof, it's the anxiety that makes it impossible for me to get up and do this job. I guess anxiety from the essence of not being happy and constantly on edge.