I run a high end carpentry business. For several years, I’d been exclusively working for a single general contractor.
The guy was my (perhaps still is, have not yet explored) friend before we agreed to work together. Given the nature of the business relationship, he became my “boss”, as essentially he was the client.
Over the years, he crossed my personal boundaries a few times. I let it go, as I was aware that often these behaviors were caused by stuff going on in his life. This slowly changed to where he felt comfortable being unreasonable with expectations and language. He started treating me like an employee proper, not an independent contractor.
We had a blow up after he provided incorrect instructions and angrily apportioned blame in my direction. I told him I was taking some time away, until Thursday of the following week. He sarcastically told me I needed to find a therapist.
Well anyway, I did just that. I had one lined up already but hadn’t pulled the trigger. We had three hours together during that time and her advice was that if I could just walk away from this situation with no negative impact, I should.
I did exactly that and am pleased to report my life has changed for the better immeasurably! I’m now happy to go to work. Excited about taking on complicated and challenging projects.
BEST OF ALL I spend Sundays relaxing and having fun, rather than just stewing with a feeling of dread.
This isn’t a brag post, it’s just a reminder that you are the full value asset in any subordinate business or employment situation. Your pay is is not full value as whoever is paying you is making money from your labor. That’s fine if they do it right, but if they don’t, and you’re able to bounce out elsewhere, do it.
I still get pangs of dread when I’m working alone and something goes wrong. I’m conditioned to it. The experience kinda fucked me up. But then I come to my senses, smile, and carry on doing good and enjoyable work with a really nice new GC.
TL:DR – GC told me to get therapy. Therapist told me to leave GC. I did and my life has gotten infinitely better