I struggle with mental illness and I recently found this subreddit that resonated with me.
It’s not that I don’t want to work but definitely a key thing that makes my disorder worse is stress.
Knowing that most jobs will pay as little as they can, while trying to overwork you (successfully or unsuccessfully) kinda drives me up the wall, especially when being paid so little it usually leads to a lifestyle of living paycheck to paycheck. (That isn’t ideal, obviously.)
which becomes very depressing and leads me to worsened symptoms and eventually crashing into a deep hole of depression, where I outright quit or pray to God they fire me.
Then I struggle to get my foot in the door to a new job. I apply and there’s no contact, no answer whether or not I got it. (so it’s an obvious no. But would be nice if they’d at least clarify that.)
And if I get an interview they ask very open ended questions, the kind that’s like, “why do you want this job?”, jeez, I don’t fucking know, maybe because I need money to survive? I cant see why I’d be so excited to work at a McDonalds…
But ya know, I try to keep it professional and say what they want to hear. Doesn’t work. Ever.
I just wonder, how the fuck are people that struggle with crippling mental illness supposed to work and survive when everything has become so fucking expensive? And on top of this… be okay?
There’s been plenty of times I worked at a job and I slowly became consumed by the thoughts of suicide. That’s usually the reason I quit.
I felt like there’s no point half the time, I make money, it goes away towards the bills or whatever, then I’m left with nothing so I can’t even enjoy the money I worked hard for and then it’s rinse and repeat until I die.
So why not fucking end it? I’ve been poor my whole life so what is the chances a miracle takes place where I become super successful and wealthy where I can be stable, finicially, physically and mentally? I don’t know. Just my two cents.