Categories
Antiwork

How do I deal with a gaslighting mgr?

I only work at this place 2 days a week, sat and sun. Sat I work with my kitchen mgr, who is a real piece of work. He will tell me I burnt the food when I haven't, (not even after the fact, when the food is right in front of me unburnt) try to start fights when I want to sterilize a surface that had raw meat touch it, you get the idea. Once told me to my face the owner didn't want us working together then not even ten minutes later swore he never said that. Has yelled and screamed at me then when I asked him not to said “I never did that” I learned early on if I call him on his shit, he will say to my face “I didn't do that”. Once when he kept following me into the backroom saying he wanted to…


I only work at this place 2 days a week, sat and sun. Sat I work with my kitchen mgr, who is a real piece of work.

He will tell me I burnt the food when I haven't, (not even after the fact, when the food is right in front of me unburnt) try to start fights when I want to sterilize a surface that had raw meat touch it, you get the idea.
Once told me to my face the owner didn't want us working together then not even ten minutes later swore he never said that. Has yelled and screamed at me then when I asked him not to said “I never did that”

I learned early on if I call him on his shit, he will say to my face “I didn't do that”. Once when he kept following me into the backroom saying he wanted to talk and I stated now wasn't a good time, he said I didn't have to work the next day if I was feeling “unwell”. Deliberately misconstrued me making a boundary.

So no matter what he says, unless if it will affect food safety (I will NOT have customers getting sick from my work) I just say ok. Thank you. I appreciate you. And ignore his bullshit. Less disagreements and he can't say I “must not be feeling well, don't need to work Sunday”

Maybe he is mentally ill but I think he's just an asshole. Not gonna quit (yet) because I don't feel like it, no witnesses because it's a small bar kitchen and he only pulls this shit when it's just me and him, and I don't think the owners would care as I sat down w him and an owner once and he blatantly contradicted himself in front of the owner and it was ignored.

(I have been keeping track, though. If there is one thing I have learned from this sub it's to time date all interactions in notes. Then to be extra I email myself the notes)

So any techniques advice on how to respond would be appreciated. How I have been dealing with it: I repeat myself twice then remove myself from the vicinity, ie I say please don't yell at me. He says I never yelled at you. I say yes you did, please don't yell at me, then I walk away. Probably one of the few times I've contradicted him, as it seems he really wants to fight and I'm not about that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *