I know this is going to be a long post but would appreciate any advice you can give
24F I'm working at a small startup company for about a year and 7months now. I like my job, i want to build a career in this industry. Before joining the company I never expected I would be able to get a job in this industry because it's comepetitive and in my country this industry isn't big.
I have been enjoying my job and I was determined to stay and get as much experience I can. I'm in a strategic position where I can pioneer this department I'm handling. It all sounds very good and i should feel very lucky. But since I started I noticed how my boss definitely does not respect her employees.
The pay isn't great but I work on tasks that isn't even on my job description, do work that is more than what I should be responsible for, work long hours and on weekends that should be compensated but is not.
We don't get paid overtime, but sometimes work more than 12hrs on a weekend. At first I was okay with that, as long as Im in a job that i like i can brush off things like that but lately the disrespect and utter unfairness Ive been feeling is too much.
I was sent to an all expense paid international trip for work that to be honest i wasnt keen on going to because i knew it was going to be a hassle and too stressful to handle. In the end I was sent there and had an absolute horrendous experience.
Then suddenly after i got back my boss is saying i am no locked in the company for 2 years because of the “privilege” i was given. Being sent abroad all expense paid on top of giving me an allowance that I was not asked to be liquidated anymore.
I was stunned because she never asked me to sign a contract like that although she did say something like that but I though she was joking because why the hell should i sign a lock in contract??
We have 5 paid leaves a year. Whenever I ask for a time off i get asked so many questions. My hometown is pretty far away from where I work and I like going home during the holidays but my boss is always passive aggressive about me going home. It's she expects me to work 24/7 and devote all my time for the company.
I've been miserable and I want to quit because I have been having serious mental health concerns like anxiety and depression. I have been suicidal before but I really do not want to go that road again. I'm exhausted and always anxious.
I want to quit but I dont know a good reason to give my boss. Because Im scared of how she'll react and Im scared that she might not let me quit because of that damn contract i never signed. From my experience with her she questions a LOT of things even though it's personal she likes to invalidate things like mental health and burnout.
Im scared of the repurcussions like her ruining my name in the industry (she's well-known and well connected) her not giving me a reference because she's mad at me for quitting.
I'm not going to leave abruptly i plan to work 2months after my notice and be open to help them out duri g the transition period i also will make sure to finish the projects ive been working on but im still scared of what she'll do to me. And i dont know a good enough reason to tell her so she'll let me go.
How do i quit?