I'm the type to want to volunteer my time and even provide resources that come out of my own pocket because that's what I value when working with people who don't have a lot of opportunities or even support and compassion. This is also something that is easy to take advantage of, as is common in things like nursing and teaching. Like, how many teachers spend their paycheck on the students because the budget isn't enough and they see the potential benefits on their lives outweigh that cost?
I love the work I am doing because I can see it making a difference in others' lives. It's the management and organisation itself that is draining me. They are so cheap when it comes to resources and even shifts they offer. There was an incident that made me 10 mins late. I saw on my timesheet that they deducted that from my pay… but obviously have never compensated me for wanting me to arrive early every day and for all the times I've stayed back past the end of my shift.
I'm frustrated because I'm becoming apathetic and tempted to just do the bare minimum and only work the exact hours. But this also makes me feel awful because I don't want those I am helping to suffer for it because I want to hang around and help them as long as they need and it'll hurt them more than it'll hurt the company. I just can't afford it much longer as that extra time is probably time I could spend earning money at another job so I can actually afford rent. It's also making me pretty disillusioned with the whole industry and career path like I'm assuming every place will be like this so it's not even worth moving on because none of these organisations are trustworthy and decent. And seeing the stress of my co-workers is also heartbreaking because they are also made to feel ashamed for any little mistake or mishap and that looking out for themselves is immoral and selfish.
How do you actually find that middle ground, especially when pouring your energy into the things you value makes you too exhausted to actually care much overall?