I work in a basement. I work 35 hours a week over 4 1/2 days.
My office walls are grey. The furniture is grey plastic. The ceilings are grey. The carpets are dirty grey. The ceiling lights are bright, flickering fluorescents.
I have panic attacks multiple times a day at this job. I’ve been off a few days and I realized I haven’t had any anxiety spells since working.
I think it’s the lack of light. I go to work, it’s dark out. I leave, it’s dark. I try to take my lunch by a window or go outside, but it’s not enough. It honestly is such sensory hell, I can’t take it. I feel like this is a version of torture. My eyes kill me, I feel dull and drab. If this is the glory of living in the US…I don’t know what to say.
It’s worth mentioning I work fully on-site (even though I sit at a computer all day) so I’m here everyday. I hate living like this. I hate staring at screens all day in this environment where I feel like I’m in a dungeon. I have work tomorrow and I’m dreading it.
How do I cope with this? Does anyone else deal with this? I am starting to resent my job and my life. We’re trying to get at least one remote day a week (we were fully remote during Covid), but it’s not looking too great.