Kinda posting this as half asking for advice and half a vent?
Idk. I can't figure out how to work a job without constantly wanting to off myself. Working at Fed-ex rn to move out to leave an abusive situation, but the work itself feels fucking impossible. I'm super weak and the rate of the packages coming down the shoot is insanely fast to me and I've already had multiple panic attacks in front of managers. I know most of the other people who come here quit within a week (everyone who works here is usually the one person who makes it through orientation out of groups of 10- myself included now after a month), but I still feel like a failure.
Though it's not specific to this line of work or anything, I used to work at kroger and I felt just as suicidal there lmao. Getting screamed at by managers constantly, being made to feel like an idiot, running myself ragged to get shit done while still never being good enough. I can't help, but feel like there's something wrong with me- I feel like I'm capable of 1/10 of anything a normal person is capable of and everyone around me sees it.
I'm trying my best, but I always feel useless and I still can't figure out how to live under capitalism.
Is there some way to get past the physical and emotional struggle so I can just stop caring?