So I've just finished my first month at a new job after being unemployed for over a year. During that time I was broke, very depressed, I felt like my life was going nowhere and I felt extremely guilty about being a financial burden on my family.
There's a lot of good things about this job – the pay is good, most of my colleagues are nice, it's interesting and there are a lot of opportunities to grow and and andvance my career – but feel so much worse than when I was unemployed.
I spend 40+ hours a week working my ass of and BC the work is mentally and physically challenging I can barely keep my eyes open when I come home. I spend my weekends doing chores I didn't have enough energy for during the week and resting so I can handle the next week. I haven't cooked for myself, seen my friends or had energy to spend on my hobbies since I started this job. I kept pushing myself through BC I thought that seeing the first paycheck would make me feel like it was worth it – but I was wrong. I felt nothing other than resentment. I spent a whole month slaving away for an amount of money that will be gone much quicker than it came. I hated being broke all the time when I was unemployed – but I still feel just as poor now. Even if I saved half my paycheck every month I'll never be able to afford an apartment let alone even a house. So what's the point?? Might as well go back to being unemployed and dumpster diving for food.
How am I supposed to do this for 40+ years??
I like this job more than I've ever liked any other job before and I still get suicidal thoughts every evening and morning before work. How do y'all do it? Is it even possible to find a job that doesn't fucking suck?? The thought of living like this untill retirement makes me wanna throw up. How are most people ok working so much??