I started a WFH job in September and right off the bat, I was worried. The managers are completely incapable of giving understandable, clear instructions. They expected me right off the bat to know their processes and are punishing me for not asking the right questions. Steadily, things have gone downhill fast. My boss expects me to be on his level and because I’m not, he has started micromanaging me. It started out where I was helping them build these massive campaigns, and I would get a lot done, but he has this obsession with making even the most insignificant edits seem like they have monumental importance. When I inevitably make mistakes because he can’t explain what he wants me to do in an articulate way, he has started overseeing everything I do and finding faults in everything. Then he informs the entire team about my failures so that none of them want to give me tasks to do. So I’m sitting at home, waiting for tasks to come in, and he is punishing me for not reaching out to ask if people need me to do something, even though he’s created an environment where I feel embarrassed to speak to any of these people. Some of them have been hostile towards me from the very beginning.
I can’t quit. Not yet. I can tell they want me to quit. I actually think that he is fucking with me at this point. He has gone into my files and comes out with all of these problems that don’t even make sense. I actually wonder if he is creating fake problems in order to create a case against me.
He booked a vacation at the same time as another coworker and during that week, they gave me some incredibly insane requests that were beyond what any one person can handle. (EDITED THIS NEXT SECTION) He mentioned to me that I need to book vacations far in advance so that they don’t overlap with others, and yet, a team of 3 designers, he has me working alone for a week with a contractor who was there for 2 days, and this dude who sometimes helps out with our team, but wasn’t around. It all seemed super sketchy and when I asked what he was doing for his vacation, he was gardening. Huh? Can’t that wait till the following week so I’m not all alone?
This week, he has me write a long email to him and the HR person answering questions worded professionally, but essentially asking “why are you so bad at your job?” “What do you think you were hired to do here?” I called my therapist and she confirmed that this man is legitimately bullying me. She thinks he is gaslighting me, like consciously. I think he is too.
What should I do to make these people’s lives worse while I’m looking for another job? And I’m talking… malicious compliance. Overly nice, overly communicative. Annoying to the core. Any recommendations?
UPDATE: I sent my email on Friday after like 16 hours of writing it. I swear, I blacked out and it was 2 in the morning and I still wasn’t done. I shared in the email some documentation showing an example of a typical back and forth exchange with my boss where he gives me several rounds of edits, each round with something new he forgot to mention the first time. I talked about being excluded from meetings that I felt I should have been included in. I explained that I have made some mistakes or been late on deadlines, mainly because of my boss and his poor communication skills, a lack of training and very little instruction from other team members whose job is literally to provide all of the information. As a result of having made some mistakes based on these things, my boss has entirely blamed and socially punished me with everyone, and he told me multiple times that my coworkers don’t trust me (forgot to mention that but he says it in the email so it was documented). I tell them that this was a poor decision on his part to share this information with me because now I am experiencing high amounts of stress and alienation and it’s made reaching out for clarification or offers to help feel more awkward, because now I feel like everyone hates me.
I sent my email at the end of the day on Friday, and by the end of the day Monday, no one had acknowledged it. By the end of the day Tuesday, still, no acknowledgement. But I did feel like I had taken some of my power back and I could sense that something was happening behind the scenes because people were not assigning me anything and when I reached out to offer to help, they gave me either nothing, or some super easy tasks that you would give an intern. It was just humiliating honestly. Just all signs that pointed towards them trying to figure out how and when to get rid of me. I did put some effort towards being more annoying but honestly, I just didn’t care enough to do all of that. I did the bare minimum and waited it out. I just knew that they wanted to fire me and that it was coming soon.
Today, it’s Wednesday and at the end of the day, I had a 15 minute call schedule with HR, and it happened. FINALLY. The nightmare is over. I have also been asked to sign a contract with an additional $5000 to essentially say that I’m not going to sue them for discrimination or bullying or what not. My therapist said to share it with a lawyer before signing it. Essentially, with all the money they would be giving me, it’s 2 months of pay. My friend thinks I should negotiate more. I’m still processing everything as it just happened so I’m gonna take my time to consider what to do.
I’m just thankful that it’s all over. I am also waiting to hear back from a job interview this week that went super well. Praying that I can just start it soon so I don’t have to explain to anyone that I don’t have a job right now or bother with applying for EI. So that’s it, for now. One of the people who interviewed me, a senior designer told me I was a very talented designer today. It just confirmed for me that I’m not crazy or bad at my job. I was just being set up for failure and gaslit out of thinking that I am capable, experienced person. I have 10+ years of experience ffs.
For the people who are making fun of me for talking to a therapist in the comments… don’t ever go to a therapist then. If you are ever struggling with your mental health, just ride it out. I hope that works out super well for you