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Antiwork

I don’t know if my workplace is toxic or not…

So, I've been a freelancer ever since I was studying. As I got good opportunities, I didn't turn to full time at all. But due to some family stuff, I had to look for a full time job and got one at a startup. The pay is peanuts but they had flexible hours and had assured me that Saturdays are off. As it turns out, Saturdays are NOT off. Thankfully, hours are flexible and you can take a leave quite easily. Now comes the problem. The work started piling up and even though it is flexible timings, there was always something pending, which led us to log in at night as well. I work in creative field, so the amount of effort I put for every task vs what gets approved differs VASTLY. The work stress (I log in at 11, take a break for lunch, then work till 7:30-8.…


So, I've been a freelancer ever since I was studying. As I got good opportunities, I didn't turn to full time at all. But due to some family stuff, I had to look for a full time job and got one at a startup.

The pay is peanuts but they had flexible hours and had assured me that Saturdays are off. As it turns out, Saturdays are NOT off. Thankfully, hours are flexible and you can take a leave quite easily.

Now comes the problem. The work started piling up and even though it is flexible timings, there was always something pending, which led us to log in at night as well. I work in creative field, so the amount of effort I put for every task vs what gets approved differs VASTLY.

The work stress (I log in at 11, take a break for lunch, then work till 7:30-8. Most nights, I log in again at 11 and stay up till 1-2 AM to finish up stuff) took a toll on me and increased my anxiety, started making me irritable and left me practically no time to even look at my family and pets.

My fellow colleagues are nice to talk to, my managers are sort of understanding, not outright nasty or anything, and I did use to enjoy what I was doing before everything started to become too much.

About a month ago, they changed the process of how we do the things and I admit, it made me hopeful that things are changing. Nope, the new process just replaced overwork with rework. And imo, reworking everything you spent days on is so much worse than overworking…

Anyway, now, I have a meeting with my manager tomorrow, about my contract extension. And I had already given an idea about me not renewing it because of the stress and they said it's a part of the startup life/hustle culture and how they've thought of work/actually worked even on their vacations. I'm pretty sure they'd try to sway my decision, they've grudgingly admitted thrice till now that I'm the best person for the job.

What I really want to know is if this is common in full time? Is this really toxic or is it just my experience because I've never had a full time job before? My other colleagues seem fine with it so I can't help but think I'm whining (in my head) about this seemingly normal stuff. (All the pay concern aside, by the way)

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