I feel burned out about everything, nothing in this world feels good or at least good enough to keep spinning on this proverbial wheel, always chasing a piece of cheese.
I’ll be honest, I haven’t worked many jobs so maybe my view is skewed (pretty much all of them were retail) but after being without work for a year and knowing I will have to get work soon, I loathe the prospect of it. I’ve just gotten to the point where I’d rather starve than go back to work as pretty much every job I’ve been in I’ve felt isolated, tired and without control. I know these are very “zoomer” or “millennial” takes as my family would put it, but this is how I feel. I don’t want to commit myself to this for the rest of my life.
The other reason why I don’t is the question of “for what?” I don’t spend a lot of money and I don’t really desire new things. To add to it, everything else in life is quite bad (depression/ trauma, no love life, daily suicidal thoughts, etc.) I’m gonna go work a job I hate to come home to an empty home which I hate so I can be alone or with friends that I feel don’t care about me. It all just feels like a big joke or a big zero-sum game