I wanted to produce electronic music, write songs and perform those songs for a small but dedicated cult following, but now I'm stuck at an office slaving over balance sheets and just generally trying to cope with the mind-numbing ennui of this boring dystopia that we're all stuck in.
You might say: “That's life. Better make your peace with it, because it could always be worse.” And the terrible thing is, you'd be right. There's absolutely nothing I can say in response to that. We're the lucky ones. Most people outside of the “western world” would be grateful to have our lives and that just makes the pain worse, because it adds guilt.
But accounting has poisoned all of my hobbies. Whenever I sit down to make music, there's a little voice in my head that goes: “What are you doing? You're not a musician, you're an accountant. Grow up.” The same is true for all creative endeavors. Work has poisoned my identity.
Whatever. It's a first-world problem and I feel bad even venting about it, but it just needed to get this off my chest. Hope you're doing well.