Long story short, i worked at an oil refinery for 7 years and i loathed every second of it, switching between three different shift every week(night, morning, afternoon) shitty coworkers and worse bosses, destroying my body every day to be too tired to even do anything when i came home, eventually it lead me to anxiety attacks and heavy depression, of course the company got rid of me because i was taking antidepressants(they used another reason)
fast forward to today, got a job selling air conditioners, fridges and everything you need for refrigeration, the job is good, my coworkers are great and i enjoy working with them, my boss is a good dude thats fair and treats me like an human being.
But….after a year of not working living off the money the refinery paid me when they let me go…i don't want to work, even in a good place, i don't want to wake up go to work from 8:30 to 18 and do the same thing over and over every day for the rest of my life, i just want to chill, do what i want to do, focus on my own personal growth, adquire new habilities not for working but for my own enjoyment.
I feel very guilty about it, i tought finding a job that i like would fix that issue but i realized i just don't want to work, and i feel terrible about it, this job is all i wanted, go to work, do my thing, come back home, no drama, everyone is in high spirits, even the customers are nice, but i want to be able to live my life for me.
At least i'm glad i'm not taking meds anymore and i got over my anxiety attacks and depression, so i don't feel like dying anymore, on the contrary, i just want to live freely.
how do you guys deal with the guilt?