Sorry for my word vomit, I feel like I'm being royalty screwed and I need to vent. Europe-based.
3 months ago my whole life flipped upside down. 3 months ago I was diagnosed with a chronic progressive neurological disease that will cripple me and take away all my independent living if not closely monitored and regularly treated with an immunosuppressive treatment. It's called multiple sclerosis, or MS for short (cousin to ALS), and it's basically my immune system attacking the protective layer around my nerves eating holes in my brain that creates scarring/lesions that damage the way the nerves and brain communicate with the rest of my body. Going from being completely healthy with my entire life in front of me to being reliant on healthcare to have a chance at a normal life is, mildly put, heavy to deal with.
I made the mistake of jumping back into work fulltime after a 2 month abscence (sickleave combined with vacation). Work's been kicking my ass, more so mentally than physically at the moment, and I cry almost daily at work and can't bring myself to give a shit about work and doing things properly even though this job is a dream come true and before my diagnosis I was over the moon happy. Since coming back to work, I've been put on antidepressants and prescribed benzodiazepines for when the anxiety hits hard, and I'm talking to a psychologist.
Things have not been easy and among all this mess, I just found out all my future doctor's appointments and treatments will be unpaid.
Appointments that I need to monitor my disease and the progression of it, and my TREATMENT that's literally the only thing giving me a shot at a normal life, without my treatment my disease will progress uncontrollably and leave me in a wheelchair, pissing and shitting myself without the ability to speak, eat, take care of my hygiene and even swallow on my own.
“It's because you need to arrange those appointments outside work hours”, they say. Please tell me how I'm supposed to do this! I work 7- 15 and getting an appointment with a specialist after 15 is next to impossible if not without a waiting time of several MONTHS for monitoring I need regularly. And let's not even start about my treatment, the infusion takes minimum 8 hours and can't be scheduled in the afternoons or during weekends, and I need the next 24h off due to the massive chance of my body going into anaphylactic shock.
“But you can use your overtime hours!” They also say. So if I understand correctly, I'm forced to work overtime just so that I don't lose income for going to my, once again, extremely vital appointments? When I'm only paid 1600€ to begin with? Are you joking?
It's only paid if it's for emergencies, or if I'm going to the occupational healthcare for non-urgent matters relating to work. Or read this, prenatal care.
So I'm only worth something when I'm making money for my employer, or about to pop out another taxpayer and future workslave?
I never chose this. I don't want this. I've been working since I was 13 and now I'm being punished because I want to have a shot at a normal life like you've had, boss. I don't want to fucking hear more of your complaining that your bloodpressure is high and how sad it is that you're overweight and how difficult dieting is.
My life is literally crumbling before my eyes and all they care about is making sure our skeleton crew is getting the work done.
I'm sorry for being a burden.