After reading this, you can call me sensitive and that people have had it worse at workplaces and I completely agree. But I am who I am and I can't change it. I have nowhere to go which is why I am here, although I have no idea what I am trying to achieve by posting this experience here but I am just desparate to find some solace…I am crying profusely as I am typing this right now.
I am a 25yo Indian woman from a below-middle class family, who somehow made it through college through loan. And then right after my graduation, I was diagnosed with TB. Couldn't work, couldn't pay my loan. My interest got higher!
Right after my remission, I managed to find a job. Moved out of the city. My first job was horrible to say the least. All kinds of bad stuff starting from bullying and harassment has happened to me! I lasted there 6 months, destroyed my mental health but couldn't go back home as we are poor as hell. My parents live in one bedroom house where they have to somehow squeeze in the kitchen as well. It's like a slum house!
Without another offer in hand, I left that company and within 3.5 months, I managed to get another job with a better salary range to pay off my dept, give something to my parents and also financially support my brother who's in college.
My manager was always super nice and supportive but recently, 9 months down the line, things have drastically changed. Today, on a meeting, he said infront of another coworker, I will quote him, “you're not logging out before it's done, I will make sure of that”. The tone was so harsh that it instantly broke me into tears. I work through weekends as well as per his requests. I am always available till midnight just to help him out with work. You can tell me I have to grow a thick skin but something about this has altered by brain chemistry and I can't stop crying.
I can't stop crying over the fact that I am stuck in a industry which will always treat me like shit. I can't stop crying because I didn't die with TB. I can't stop crying because I can't go running to my mother and let my heart out to her. And because, I brother will have to drop out of college if I am not able to provide him his monthly allowance.
The corporate world is evil. They know that we have nowhere to go. I know too, that this is it. I am stuck. My heart becomes so heavy when I think that there's no silver lining anymore….