For the past few days, my boss has been asking me how I am because I seem ‘off’.
How do you tell someone you are fucking miserable and you cry in the bathroom because your career is going nowhere and you are bored out of your brain at work and there is no upward trajectory in this job and you are struggling financially and you don’t know if you will ever be able to afford having a kid but you are running out of years to have kids rapidly and your partner might have fertility issues and that’s a whole other issue and if you quit this job you might not be able to find a permanent job that has good enough parental leave benefits and you are the breadwinner of your family so you can’t quit because you can’t pay the mortgage and loans on your partners wage while he studies to get a promotion to get paid an average wage and you are mad at society because they promised you if you busted your ass and got a degree and worked while you did it and did everything they asked you wouldn’t be struggling so why are you struggling you shouldn’t be struggling because everyone else on your Instagram is getting engaged and getting married and having kids and going on holidays and buying new cars and having careers and living life and you are barely existing so what did you do wrong?
I think I’ll just blandly smile and say ‘good thanks’.