Hi I got laid off for the third time since 2020. It's hard not to take it personally even though every time they say “it's not a reflection of your work.” At this point, I don't see a future for myself that entails more meaningful time. My husband and I have been trying to start a family. I actually might be pregnant now but today I ordered some abortion pills just in case because obviously I can't job hunt while pregnant. Who's going to hire me? Given my age, this is my last chance to be a mom and I'm just gutted.
I don't know. Every single thing that causes me joy has slowly been taken away. I think suicide is honestly the most reasonable, moral career path for me at this stage of life. I don't really have the time to start over and I'll never have a stable career. Death would be doing myself a great kindness and frankly my husband as well so he can fine a younger, more fertile, and more employable partner.