I’m 41. I have a degree, and have worked full time ever since I graduated which means I’ve been working full time for 20 years.
I have it pretty good. I can work from home pretty much full time, my supervisors are great and most coworkers are great.
I make pretty good money, get a shitload of vacation time, decent insurance and retirement.
I actually like the work I do. My supervisors make me feel valued.
I should be happy right???
The workload is pretty insane and my supervisors acknowledge it. I can really never keep up and they DON’T expect me to because they know it’s utterly unreasonable.
I’m fucking exhausted.
I’m just done.
It’s not that my pay is too low. It’s not lack of vacation. It’s not that I don’t like the people. Yeah the workload is too much, but that’s just how it is.
I’m just fucking over it. I’m over the pressures the week brings, the nonstop flow of email, calls, and only two days of the week to get to do what I enjoy.
I don’t want to work anymore.
I’m not lazy. I just want to garden. I want to sew. I want to learn things. I want to paint. I want to do so many things.
This weekend had me in tears and I just had a meltdown last night. Last week was so much God damn work. I had to catch up on housework yesterday, I slept in today and here we fucking are: facing another Monday and I haven’t had a single chance to engage in any fucking hobby.
I’m just tired. I’m so god damn tired. And if one more person from my parents generation laughs and says “you’ve got a ways to go” I swear to Christ I will kick them in the knee.
Thanks for reading, I just had to get it out.