I worked as a corporate advertising guy for 10 years. Well, 12 now, if you count the last two. But mentally I checked out just after the plague. Did I say checked out? Burnt out, more like. I found myself hyper-ventilating on the stairwell at 3am in the morning over some insane deadlines for a major sportswear client. And that was it. I threw in the towel. I needed an out.
But I also needed money.
Ain't that life?
So I went freelance and looked for clients that would give me a maximum day rate for a minimum mental load. That meant doing absolute menial creative work like photo retouching for shitty brands, and writing copy (ChatGPT made that easier over the past year). In that time I was exasperated. The thing is in my previous job I had a kinda prestigious title at a very good agency. Now I was doing all the dogsbody work and man it really took my ego a few notches down. But it also sobered me up and helped me see things as they were. That I was just providing a service, like a plumber or a delivery guy — but just to large faceless agencies with slightly better money.
But I knew it was unsustainable. I'm in my mid thirties and I still have a long way to go. I want to start a family and live in a decent house. I was making okay money but is this all there is to life? I knew intellectually I needed something that could sustain my interest. I was searching everywhere for something that would interest me and not make me broke. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks to Covid I became a little hermit like and spent a LOT of time in front of the computer learning 3D software like Blender, Nomadsculpt, Unreal Engine etc. I realised I had a knack for learning new software — that fuelled my inner child. I could sit and sketch silly animations and characters forever. I was onto something. My strategy of doing these menial work to keep the lights on meant I had a lot of “mental capacity” to learn new shit.
Cut to two years later, I think I took on the worst contract that also turned out to be a turning point. In this gig, all my co-workers were complete tools. I know it sound like a shitty thing to say but I think we all know the feeling when we feel our success is hampered by people who are much less capable than us. It was like that for a few months and I was getting angrier and more depressed. It seemed my strategy for “sucking it up” was coming too needing a shift. It was like I was running out of air.
Anyway, at the same time I got really interested in 3D resin printing. I could finally turn my little creatures and characters into real objects..I actually started 3D sketching in earnest and came up with a little design for a fat cat. I shared it on social media and people liked it.
Two weeks ago, I checked my bank balance with those hard earned savings, working on shitty contracts, and with some rough calculations told me I could probably do 5 – 6 months okay if I didn't work, and focussed on making something real and that I liked. Perhaps I could print these 3D cats and make a little online store.
So this week I found a little shared space up the road from me and bought some 3D printers. And now I spend all my time making these little fuckers hoping they will somehow save me from my past life.
I put all my energy into designing and marketing. I've never put all my hopes on something small and silly. It's fucking scary but also somehow I think it would make a cool story even if it fails. Check back in a few months, I might beg for my old job back.
I mean yea, work sucks, but I'm gonna tunnel my way out.
I hope this story finds someone who is feeling down.
There's a way out somehow, even if it's a small glimmer
Thanks for listening.