I’m really ashamed of myself. I know a lot of you are going to attack me for this. That makes sense. I’m not asking for your sympathy or kind words. Because even though I didn’t mean to cause any harm, I don’t deserve sympathy right now. But please don’t attack me either. Because I really do feel awful. I’ve been working at this restaurant for about a year and a half now. I don’t know why, but I just got so checked out mentally.
About a year ago, I was going through some pretty difficult stuff. So I started missing work a lot. I got a bit of trouble with my managers over it, but I was still working there. During New Years, my purse got stolen from the locker room, and the managers didn’t seem to really care. For over a month, they didn’t find anything on the cameras, and all I know is in my purse was just randomly returned in the locker room one day.
My mental health was pretty poor back then. I became dependent on alcohol and drugs. And I didn’t care for anyone or anything anymore. I started being better about skipping, but 95% of the time, I was late. But they still didn’t fire me. I was very avoidant about everything. I didn’t like talking to my family or to my friends. I just wanted to sit alone in my room all day and watch YouTube videos. So it wasn’t like my job was the only thing I was neglecting.
I finally got a job, but I was more of an emergency hire, so my new job got pushed up when I was still working my old job. I told my manager on Sunday that I can only work on Monday Tuesday Wednesday Friday of this week. However, I’m going on vacation this Friday and my mom already paid for it. I told him this because I wanted to have more time. But, I skipped Monday due to my my new job.
I wanted to go today, Wednesday, so it could be my last day. But I couldn’t find any of my uniform shirts for the shift. I could only find one that had a really huge brown stain that I just could not get out of the shirt. So I skip today. But I’m already going to skip Friday. I know I’m an awful person. I know. I feel so guilty about skipping again. It’s been really bothering me.