I feel so listless and I don’t know what to do to fix myself. Just got out of an annoying part time retail job and been unemployed for a bit having to live off of my savings. I keep trying to pursue some form of digital entrepreneurship but I'm worried I've fallen for the sunken cost fallacy where I am clinging to ideas that just aren't viable and treating it like its my only hope. I have an associates degree in media and been trying to freelance videography and editing without much luck. Recently applied for a digital marketing role at a company where a family member works who I could use as a reference, but I haven't heard anything back in almost 2 weeks since I applied. Not the most excited about it because the majority of the job could be done from a laptop at home and not 9-5 in an office every day. I can't get clients for my freelance and employers never call me back.
I just want to be financially free and comfortable. I would love to have a successful small media business or a remote WFH job and relocate. I hate the idea of working for someone else. It's indentured servitude. But it just seems like nothing I do can get me on my own feet. I can’t afford to have my own life. To move out from my folks and live in my own place rent is $2000 per month for a decent apartment. I want my own space without roommates. I can’t afford to travel. I'm in free fall just enjoying the ride down until I run out of savings. Some days it feels so hopeless that its easier to just stop caring and live in the moment and forget about money. Yes I am the problem. I am helpless and can’t help myself. I can’t build a business. I just need a benefactor to pay me cash so I can get on my feet, because I sure as hell ain’t able to do it myself. But deep down I hate this situation feeling like a lazy do-nothing.
But I don’t know what to do. I need to find a job or service that can make me a LIVING wage to get by in ideal conditions. I can't work for less than $60k and afford to live. I can’t do a job that pays beans and expects you to be happy about it. I have half a mind to just make up a bullshit 'get rich with this secret sauce' course like every other fake entrepreneur and milk it for all its worth. Its hard watching others do the same freelance business I am trying to do and succeeding where I am not. It makes me desperate. I've paid for coaching and have tried to imitate what they were doing and it has not helped me one bit.