This is my first post and I’m actually super nervous venting to the internet because I don’t ever vent online so please be kind lol
So about a week ago almost, I got hired after 5 months of not working and I already hate it but I needed money so I was desperate. If I’m being honest, I really hate working. I hate it because it feels like I never have time to really focus on things I care about or spending time with my family(I know I had those 5 months but I wish it was longer) I really just don’t want to spend the rest of my life making my life all about work . It honestly feels like I could be doing something so much better and doing something that won’t make me have 2 anxiety attacks in 1 week. I honestly don’t want to make my life about work. I want to be out and enjoying life with my friends and family. I want to make memories and be able to be in places I need to be in(3 years ago, my great grandma passed away. During that time I was working so I had no time to see her and i couldn’t take days off. She passed away when I was at work and I was so angry that I didn’t get to be with her and honestly I’ve been mad ever since and mad at myself that I didn’t just take the days off because I didn’t want no one to be mad at me) I do have a dream job I would love to do. It’s not going to make me millions but I would love to do it for the rest of my life because I’ll have all the time to focus on my talent and be with my family more and feel like I’m not a burden. I think I’m just afraid to pursue it because it’s not a job with a huge income, people have told me that I couldn’t do it or it’s not a real job and I’m just afraid to mess up. I don’t want it to seem like I’m lazy but I’d rather enjoy my life and do something I love than hate it and work for places that don’t care about me.