So I've been really struggling these past few months and I just want some resolution. I know this probably isn't the place to get some world changing advice, but I'm desperate. I work full time from home, but a few months ago I had to take FMLA because seemingly my depression has gotten so bad I can't physically will myself to work. Getting through a day is a constant struggle, but not working isn't an option really because I'm behind on bills. It sounds crazy, but even knowing that. Even knowing that if I don't work, I will lose everything is not even able to get me to clock in. I've quit on life basically which scares me. I'm on medication for anxiety and depression. I have health issues that I'm battling, but it'd be easy to say it's that, but it's not. At least, it doesn't seem that way. I'm suicidal in ways, but not in others. I found the love of my life this year. We have a great relationship and the thought of leaving her kills me so I don't want to die. But I'm trying to find the will to live. I know this seems incoherent, but please bear with me. I just want to be able to clock into work and clock out without issue. But when I try, I get major anxiety. I work in insurance and have to deal with people over the phone. Which I can do… but it takes everything out of me. I just want to fix this. I've looked for other jobs. I'm getting professional help. I'm forcing myself to clock in and try, but its just not enough. It's ruining everything. I just dont have any answers and maybe someone can help. I'm just lost.