I really feel like doing it, like I really want to just let go. I can’t do it though, I have a daughter who is 5 and I don’t want her to grow up alone without a mother. I don’t understand why my brain is doing this to me.
I work in healthcare, a fast-paced, busy hospital. I work in inpatient psych and also on another unit with people detoxing from substances. It’s very busy and my work doesn’t have “coverage” for taking one day off for being sick. Naturally my two coworkers have banded together and decided to hate me, I went on a mental health leave for 6 months after being physically attacked at work by a visitor and when I got back, they said to me “all our feelings towards you being gone on leave are justified, we had to cover for you and you’re not a team player.”
These women harass me every time I take a day off to take care of my sick child and myself. They record my every sick day on their desktop calendars. All in plain view.
I was mortified, but then I thought to myself .. fuck it. I went to therapy and had my appointment with my psychiatrist every week. I worked SO fucking hard on myself. I still go to therapy every two weeks. I saved my life for my daughter. And now I’m here at 12:30PM, having been off for 5 days for pneumonia, and they’re going to treat me so badly when I go in tomorrow.
I might even get written up for my absence, but I was literally unable to breathe and incontinent from choking on mucus. I was so fucking sick.
I don’t know what to do, or what people will say. I need to tell someone – anyone who might have been in the position I have or someone who had a shred of empathy and maybe, just maybe won’t tell me it’s all my fault.
I know I have to face tomorrow, despite a write up or not. It’s just hard.
I’m unionized and they do nothing, I could report these coworkers but they’ll just offer them courses to “communicate better” after investigation. I’ve seen this happen.
This is not normal, it can’t be. I’m sorry.
I’m not at immediate risk, I have no active plan. I’m just desperate for someone to hear me.