i hate my job. i was lucky to get a job as a pre school teacher aide when i came out of high school due to having work experience at the pre school i work at and they were impressed with my skills. it’s been 10 months and i’m done. this job is too much for me i really enjoy working with children but i can’t with 30+ children daily. i’ve been told i’m not as engaged and enthusiastic as i was when i first joined but i feel my energy is no different to my coworkers. i feel i am being picked on for being inexperienced and the youngest at my job but i don’t know i could just be shit like they say i am. my coworkers tell me i do well everyday and understand my struggles, then my bosses come in and watch me for 15 minutes and tell me they don’t see any improvement. even when telling the head teacher about a meeting i had she looked a bit surprised i was being told i’m not doing as well as they wish. i don’t even bother standing up for myself cause it’s always going to be their word over mine. i’m clearly not a good fit for the company so i just want out.
things have been so hard for me lately i’ve struggled with mental health issues for as long as i can remember. being on antidepressants made it more manageable but i was an idiot and stopped taking them now i don’t want to go back on them because they make me feel physically ill and mentally drained. i don’t want to go through that while working here because apparently i take too much time off work when i can’t help if im genuinely ill. tired of working here, it’s like my dream to work in a pre school or anything early childhood related but at this point of time i just can’t do it. i want to be unemployed but i don’t know if it’s a good idea but i dont think im gonna last much longer working here. i don’t even know where i’d begin to look for a new job.