My work is not a psychologically safe environment for me. The ceo is an autocratic asshole lacking any kind of human or empathetic touch. My coworkers are for the most part decent people but some just love to complain incessantly. Management also. Constant bitching and but zero focus or concern on actually changing things for the better. I’m a forward thinker and always want to find solutions to issues, but honestly I’ve come to think they rather complain about shit.
I’ve been in this position for 6 months so I’ve passed my probation period. I’m a working student and get paid literally minimum wage an hour to deal with so much bs. I applied for a different position initially and they put me into a management role without any experience, thinking I’d be a good fit because they must have liked my personality or whatever. When I first started I was so motivated, excited and inspired to make change. I feel like they’ve sucked the life out of me. I’m one of the only females in ‘management’ as the company is heavily male dominated.
So without a proper boss or mentor to actually help me understand this position, I’ve had to learn everything from courses online and try to make sense of how to now be an agile coach suddenly, mentor, exceptional facilitator and more. Granted I’ve learned a lot and am not bad at my job I don’t think but the culture here is practically nonexistent. They don’t care to develop it. Double standards for everyone. People are scared to speak up naturally because saying something against the ceo only makes him mad. I try and try to improve and do my best but it’s never enough. I take on feedback and am constantly trying to develop and grow. They (management) don’t acknowledge any of these efforts and don’t really understand where my abilities lie.
I’m sick of feeling disrespected and getting zero praise . And they want me to join full time??? I need some advice here, I’m at a fork roads and don’t know what I should do