I have a very anti work attitude. I think this whole “rat race” of 40+ hours 5 days a week (sometimes more) is absolute shit. I do not want to slave away my life to make someone else record profits. I do not want to sacrifice precious time with my kids just to make ends meet. I don’t want to feel forced to work just to survive.
BUT like I said, I have kids. I’m not in the greatest relationship and it’s possible that it will end. If it does, then I will have to get a job to take care of me and the kids. I’ve been looking at job listings & NOTHING is appealing. So that means that I’ll have to just find a job, any job, and be miserable working it for however long until I move onto the next. Sounds horrible. I just have such a bad attitude when it comes to work now because I feel like no matter what the job is, they’re exploiting and taking advantage of people who need to pay bills and eat. I have no idea how I’m going to deal with it without being absolutely miserable & not being the best version of myself for my kids. The thought of living that kind of life depresses me already and makes me incredibly sad.
I’ve lived that single mother life already & was so depressed struggling with everything. I don’t necessarily want to go back to that. I just don’t know what to do. I know as a mom I will do what I HAVE to do but I just already know I will be unhappy & depressed & stressed. Sometimes I just think I don’t belong in this world.