Maybe this belongs in r/depression but I feel like the state of the world has more of an impact on my mental health than my daily habits. I'm physically fit. Have a great partner. Have good people around me. Practice mindfulness. Focus on viewing emotions objectively and am not really rash. It's a passive suicidal ideation. I am not in danger, but I really want to die.
I just cant envision a future that's better than the reality today. I feel if I continue down the path of the grind, I'll become like those bitter, soulless people that look down on everyone below them on the socioeconomic ladder. It just feels like everybody is fighting for their own right to survive and rightfully so. Nations don't really care about world peace bc they know it isn't possible, so they strive to gain the most power and to do right by their own people. The USA is great at establishing this power and it won't change anytime soon. People here are fighting to improve their working conditions bc they don't pay enough, while the rest of the world works harder to stay valuable.
Senseless political divide, worsening climate, scarcity of housing. We don't really get to choose much of it.
I feel like ending my life is the only action that is fully mine. I get to live exactly how long I want and not give any more of myself than I want to. It's the only refuge from this hell hole that is Earth.
Even if I were rich and could isolate from all the world's horrors, and start a family, focus on my passions, I'm not sure the work it would take to get there would even be worth the cost.