Im quitting my job of 3 years, one that i learnt immensely from and was surrounded by good colleagues and bosses. As a fresh graduate, this was my 2nd job and it is in Operations. However to me, its the first job where i felt i was makimg a difference and that drove me through all the downs i had experienced. Naturally, i was exposed to the many facets of the business, from projects to managing employees, many of whom are older and have worked with the company for a long time. In fact, i dont think im shit at my job since i even gotten a written compliment from one of the senior leaders for a company level event that i had organised couple weeks back . However, I've come to realised how I've put work before myself and my personal relationships. Given the nature of the job, I'm constantly stressing and being stressed over every single thing; from salary matters, to insignificant reports and to the day-to-day ops matters. I stopped working out since im either mentally drained or i commit to unpaid overtime (out of my own volition, just so i get more things done) till i barely have time to have my dinner.
Recently, i went on a 4 day vacation, and told myself to not do or think anything work related – i brought my own work phone but kept it in airplane mode all the way. But on day 2, i decided to tuned in to my work phone just to have a peak. When i saw what was happening and through messages, i got stressed over what was happening when i was away from work and soured my mood for the entire day. That nagging thought of work was constantly at the back of my mind throughout the rest of the trip and it really feels like im developing some sort of anxiety or some sort of mental health issues from the job.
I like my current boss, i like that what im doing is getting recognised for my efforts but at the same time, this is a double edge sword where my compulsion for things to do things my way is eating away my mental and physical health (literally gained 10kg in a year from all the bad habits and diet). I dont hate the people that are surrounding me, but i despise the leaders and the direction of this organisation that is pushing and wringing people dry while they get the next body in. We are so profit driven that it has never been a priority to stop and regroup to check where everyone is at.
I am writing this rant to both vent and ensure that i commit myself into giving in my notice on Monday. Bottomline, you can love your job and your colleagues but when its eating away at your health and personal life, its time to call it quits.
Quitting is for winners, its time for me to look out for myself from now on.